Repent
by mochamaker
Summary: An unsure Gabrielle follows through with her decision.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the characters and I am not making a profit

Rated T to M

Dedicated to A

_POV Gabrielle_

Based on Season Two episode: The Return of Callisto

**Repent **

**Chapter One: **

I made a decision. A decision that I can't take back. But I wish I could.

I stand at the altar, my husband-to-be at my side and my best friend standing behind me as I say my vows. Tears swim in my eyes as I stare at Perdicus, my childhood friend and soon to be husband, my soon to be life mate. A man that I pledge to love and cherish for the rest of my mortal life.

I can't stop the tears that pool. I'm not sure if I want to. So I let them pool in warm gushes and flow down my cheeks as I accept his ring, and allow him to place it on my finger. The metal is warm and his touch cold.

I focus on the warm metal, now placed around my finger. It is my binding token, a symbol of my love for my husband to be. I blink away the tears and focus on Perdicus. I don't dare look back into stormy blue eyes. I'll crumble if I do. He smiles down at me unbidden, his teeth flashing white and his dark eyes crinkled in pleasure. Xena, my best friend, stands stiff behind me. Joxer, my lovesick friend, acts as Perdicus's best man, looking mournful and stern for such an easy going man.

Perdicus leans in. It's the moment where we kiss and merge our union. So, I close my eyes and block him out as he places a kiss on my lips to finalize the union. His lips are rough against mine as we softly kiss. Then, the priest announces us as wed. Tears spill down my cheeks as I pull back from his mouth. I hear gasps from Xena and Joxer as they release their collectively held breaths. I sigh as I turn, wiping my wet cheeks dry with the sleeve of my dress.

Cool blue eyes, the color of the tempestuous Aegean right before a storm, gaze down at me with tears pooling under the lids, but not trickling out. At least, not yet. She always remains strong. Unpenetrable and stoic. Her slowly pooling tears give way to her heartbreak. I'm not sure how to accept her tears, or how to say all the things flowing through my mind right now, so I remain silent. After traveling with her for eight seasons, I know how she appreciates the silence.

She steps forward and says, "Gabrielle…" in her rough voice, the voice she uses when she's unsure of what to say. Her nostrils flare as she gasps in air.

"I know Xena," I whisper, my voice husky even to my own ears. And I do know the emotions swirling in those cerulean depths, because I see and know that they mirror my own. I want so much to take her body against mine, to squeeze her so tight that we meld into one, and to touch her warm skin as I have longed to since the moment our eyes first met. But Perdicus is watching us.

And I've made my decision.

I smile at Xena, letting her know how deeply I understand what I've done to her, and give her a meek hug. It's a brief touch of skin, so absent of the truth of what we both feel, but its all I can offer her, then I step away. It will probably be the last time we touch.

Tears again pool in those cerulean eyes and I feel them pooling in mine.

I cry for her as she cries for me. Her tears drip out, making her cheeks shine in the darkened light, as mine trickle down my cheek, rewetting the already crusted trails of spent tears. I reach out with my left hand to brush hers away, but my eyes catch the shine of my wedding band, and my hand freezes in place then drops back to my side.

Then, my husband takes my hand, tugging me away from Xena. He's still smiling as he leads me through the chapel doors. My eyes linger on Xena until the moment she disappears from my view.

I am now bound to another. I said yes when I should have said no. But I made a decision and now, I have to stand by it. My duty as a new wife, pulls me toward my marriage bed. I am mentally a willing participant, but emotionally torn as my heart, held firmly between large tan hands, stands back and watches me go.

I have to go back and get it. I can't live without my heart.

I stop walking, and tug Perdicus to a standstill. I gaze at the temple and ignore his eyes.

I watch for Xena, but see only an empty doorway. "I can't do this," I say, and release his hand. "I've made a mistake."

"What's done is done," he husks, then grabs my hand, clenching my fingers hard and pulls me along roughly. I stumble from the momentum but still look toward the temple, hoping for a glimpse of blue eyes.

The doorway remains empty.

My chest remains barren.

The gold of my ring, sliding along my finger, glitters in the fading light from Apollo, as I turn away from the temple to watch where I'm going. Perdicus smiles once again, but this time, not a happy smile. It is a smile of victory.

**A/N: Continue this or end it here? :+)**


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own the characters and I am not making a profit

Rated T to M

POV Gabrielle

Based on Season Two episode: The Return of Callisto

**Repent **

**Chapter Two: **

Evening falls quickly, the lightness of day turns purple then indigo, becoming a quiet and solitary darkness within my new abode. I am alone with my thoughts. Perdicus has left me alone in our new home to go and celebrate with his nuptuals with his friends. He promised to return home by full darkness. I only have half of a candle mark to gather my things and escape.

When he left me, I vowed to myself to leave. Then, I warred with myself and decided to stay, only when I closed my eyes, the image of Xena haunts me. The decision easily made itself, for now, I know I must leave, for I cannot stay here when I long for Xena after only a few hours of separation.

Slipping out of the house, I make way toward the stable. I really don't want to ride, but I know it is the only way to get back to my Xena. The two horses that Perdicus owns, whinny softly upon hearing me opening the door.

"Shhh, what are you two trying to do? Get me into trouble…" I make my way over to the girl horse, the brown and white one that likes me better than the boy horse. Taking the bridle, I slip it into her mouth and then tighten the saddle just the way that Xena showed me to do on Argo during my less talkative day. I think she wanted to get me to start babbling at her like normal, but it was right after the Titans fiasco and I was embarrassed. It was also one of the first times that Xena showed me her more sensitive side. It was a monumental occasion in our friendship, only I know Xena didn't see it that way, she only saw it as her missing the normal chatter spewing from my mouth.

Lost in the memory, I failed to listen for the stable door opening a second time. Soon, strong arms wrapped around my waist and the scent of bad ale flowed under my nose. My husband has finally returned.

"Gab, what are you doing out here messing around with the horses. You should be inside, getting pretty for your wedding night." He laughed and pulled me flush against him, making sure to grind his hips with his erection against my rear. I wanted to elbow him in the gut, push him back, but I froze in a panic. He continued to husk in my ear, "why don't you get inside and I'll show you what you've been missing following around Xena all these years. War taught me a thing or two about women if you know what I mean."

His husking snapped me out of my trance and I elbowed him in his stomach and turned hard to pry his arms loose. He oofed and released me enough to let me wiggle free. I turned on my heel and stared at him with disgust. "Perdicus, I don't care what you learned about women, because this woman doesn't care. I told you, I made a mistake. And, I'm leaving to go to Xena. She's the one I love, not you. I never loved you."

"Gabrielle, don't you know that Xena left. She's gone. That's why I went to the tavern tonight. I wanted to hear the gossip sure to be flowing around the town. They watched her leave. She left you."

"No.." I backed away from him. He had to be wrong. Xena would never leave me, she promised she would never leave me behind again.

"Yes. She…left…you. She doesn't care about you. Don't be naïve, Gabrielle. Girls like you, why, you're a dime a dozen for gorgeous women like Xena."

"She promised me…promised. She wouldn't back away from a promise. That is who she is."

I growled. He was prodding the beast of my temper and luring it from its cave. And if there is one thing I learned from Xena, it's to never back down from fighting for what is closest to my heart. I will always be loyal to Xena, no matter the wedding trinket adorning my body and its ownership to the man standing before me.

"What do you know about women like Xena, Perdicus? How many have you bedded between the time I left you for Xena and the time we met once again because of the fates?"

"I am experienced in the ways of women, Gabrielle. I'm not the farm boy you left behind. Not anymore. And you need to embrace your life now. You need to accept that you are _my wife_, and you belong to me now. _Forget Xena _and her lurings."

"Never. I will never forget the one who, by her mere existence, owns my whole heart. It is merely occupying space within my chest, but it belongs to Xena. It has since the moment our eyes met, and Perdicus, I know you know this. Don't be the stupid farm boy you always acted as such."

"You are mine!" Perdicus shouted, stomping toward me and grabbing my arms within his large hands, his fingertips digging into my skin hard enough to bruise. "I will not share you."

I stood frozen and stared into his angry eyes, his hands shaking me enough to prevent me from wrenching away from him. "Then kill me now, because I am not ever going to be yours again. You might as well send me to the Fields now." I closed my eyes and waited for his striking blows, or any reaction he might have to my declaration.

His hot breath caressed my face as he whispered, "no woman shall ever leave me willingly." His iron strong hands slid to my ribs and squeezed.

**A/N: Just a quick update to get my fingers back into the motion of hitting the keys. :+)**


End file.
